The Knitting Nurse

Rambles and Travels

Losing My Furry Friend

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I found Annabelle at the Boulder, CO Humane Society some 6 years ago.  I’d asked which cat was there the longest and they presented a HUGE, sweet, black cat with a white mustache, in a solo cage.  I was sold.

Belle adopted me, I think, molding me into a doting and compliant human.

Last weekend she showed me she wasn’t feeling well by not eating, drinking or peeing.  The real tip-off was her silence, preferring to lay on a blanket rather than the usual routine of begging for meals and seeking out my lap.

She was a noisy cat, with more meows for more purposes (including no purpose, I was sure) than I could keep track of.  Anyone who met her can attest.

A trip to the vet Monday confirmed she was really sick.  A temp of 105.5 (101.5 is normal) and telling lab values prompted the vet’s concern and a “gray” prognosis.  She suspected a nasty, infected liver lesion, probably cancer, was causing systemic infection.

Knowing I wouldn’t subject an old girl (14?) to exploratory surgery or cancer treatment, I did the unthinkable and chose to have her put to sleep.  It was the most emotionally charged decision I’ve ever made.  I knew it was the right thing to do.  Still, I hated every minute. We had cuddle time (though she was burning up and unhappy), I took off her collar and let her go.

And I miss her horribly.

No more wet nose kisses.  No more hugs.  She used to drape over my shoulders. No more lap warming.  No more coming to a slobbered-up chewed off working end of the yarn I knit with.  No sharing popcorn on the couch or in bed.  (She loved it!)   No more pre-out-of-bed AM whining for breakfast.  No more greets at the at the door after work.

I’ve put her collar on the stick shift of my truck for now so I hear the familiar jingle of her tags.

She was a good little car camper (en route to travel nurse assignments) making nests in the sleeping bag I gave her for a bed.

She loved playing with a ratty old purple climbing shoe lace and ignored any toy or cat bed I ever purchased.

Such a pretty face.  Never really knew how attached I was to her.

Heavy Heart.

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